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You know those days when you just want to crawl back into bed and sleep through the chaos? Trust me, I’ve been there. The baby is on a nursing spree, the toddler is on a rampage, and the piles of laundry and dishes just get higher and higher. Church events, family gatherings, household budget meetings, calendars to keep, toilets to clean…not to mention if you work outside of the home!
For me, my heart is definitely in my home. That being said, apathy and withdrawal are my ultimate stress-responses. I know it’s going to take me 20 minutes to do that load of dishes, but I can’t bring myself to do it! And of course that just makes the situation worse.
Then there’s the way I interact with my boys. Mama is NOT fun when she’s stressed out. I’m more irritable, I’m more likely to yell, I have zero patience for accidents, and I don’t feel like I have any time to sit down and play with them. I hate it, but stress turns me into a MOMster.
Maybe you’re like me and you seem to keep falling into this cycle. It feels like I do really well for a while, and then everything just starts spiraling again. But there are ways I’ve found that help me stay (or get back) on track, and I want to share them with you!
Get Up and Do Your Quiet Time
Toby has been nursing relentlessly lately. We’ve chalked it up to a mix between a physical and developmental growth spurt. Last week, he slept in 2-hour increments at night, wanting to nurse in between each, which left for a VERY tired Mama the next day. And I gotta tell ya, nights like that that make this step VERY difficult some days (especially in the cold winter months).
But I know that when I get up before my kids and I do my Bible time, it sets the tone for the rest of the day. Even if it’s just 15 minutes, devoting my day to the Lord puts my heart in the right place. I am equipped with everything I need for whatever that day holds.
There’s actually a really cool illustration for this we find in the practice of shepherding. In drier seasons, shepherds rise early to take their sheep to pasture so they can graze while the dew is heavy. They get enough moisture in that one feeding to sustain them throughout the dry, hot day.
Our shepherd is always waiting to lead us to what He knows we need for sustenance. He knows what the day will bring, and He knows what we need to thrive in it.
My pastor’s wife always says, “I would rather be sleep-deprived than God-deprived”. I stand by that statement.
If you want to read more about the illustration of sheep in the bible, check out A Shepherd Looks at Psalm 23!
Get Dressed AND Brush Your Teeth
I am NOT one to get on board with social media trends…but I LOVE this one. While I absolutely believe in having a pajama day every once in a while, I don’t think it leads to a productive lifestyle to do it every day.
And this is coming from someone who did used to do it (or at least WANT to) every day. So trust me, I would know.
My mom rarely let us do school in our pajamas. She said it was a mindset thing, that getting dressed would help us be more focused and productive. We didn’t believe her. We complained and tried to negotiate our way out of it (we were so naughty!). But as an adult, I came to find that she was right.
Imagine that.
I even really like the idea of the retro housewife uniform: a flowery dress, an apron, and comfy shoes. Of course, most of the time I find myself in leggings and a t-shirt. But it’s still the action of changing out of your flannel pajama pants and into something to start the day.
I would also add to this to brush your teeth right when you wake up. It’s another mindset thing, kind of like brushing your teeth at 8pm to help deter any late snacking (guilty). The peppermint also helps wake you up and stay focused!
If you’re looking for an all-natural, fluoride-free toothpaste, here are some options. DISCLAIMER: I am NOT a dentist. This is strictly for general information and not intended to provide medical or dental advice, and should not be taken as such.
Have Routines & Systems in Place
I have a love/hate relationships with routine. I used to think that it would make things mundane and BORING. It has taken me a LONG time to find systems that really work for me…and even then sometimes I drop the ball on them (soon to come: Revamping My Laundry System).
BUT when I do adhere to my systems, they make everything so. much. simpler. And “boring”? Couldn’t be farther from the truth. That’s because the nature of being a domestic engineer is to always be adding and changing and growing. If a routine has worked for you in the past, but now you’re coming into a season where it doesn’t, you can change it.
That used to freak me out. I am the type of personality that if I don’t think I can do it perfectly right away, I have little patience to try it in the first place. God has really grown me in that. Don’t be afraid to have to change the routine. And don’t be afraid that you can’t change the routine. Find something that works for you.
And if you’re easily bored, it’s okay to shake it up a little. Listen to different music. If it’s a nice day, spend more time doing things outside. If it’s been a slow week, take more time to play with your babies…or your fur babies!
I’ve found it can help to write things down. You may even want a daily checklist for things! There are a TON of free templates online to help organize all your thoughts and routines. Here are some I (though not affiliated with) really like:
- Scattered Squirrel Free Printables Archive
- Abby Organizes Free Printables
- IHeart Organization Free Printables
Know Yourself & Take Care of Yourself
I felt these ones went together because I know how I get when I’m:
- Hungry
- Thirsty
- Needing Chapstick
- Needing Tissues
- Needing a Hug
- On a certain part of my cycle
- Haven’t taken my vitamins/supplements/pro- & prebiotic
- Eating too much junk/sugar
- Haven’t exercised
- Haven’t spent enough time outside
I could probably go on. While I’m not an advocate of the mainstream concept of “self-care”, I do believe in taking care of yourself. It doesn’t help you or anyone else to make a martyr of your health in the name of serving others.
Drink your water. Eat a snack. Take a shower. Go for a walk. Stand outside BAREFOOT. TURN OFF YOUR PHONE and unplug for a while. Make sure you’re feeding your body healthy, nutritious meals and good CLEAN supplements. Cuddle your kiddos. Cuddle your hubby. Again, the list goes on.
Taking care of your basic needs is really important. And it teaches your family the importance of healthy choices. This is especially true in busy seasons when it’d be easier to grab takeout and junk food (guilty), or to put off sleep in the name of productivity (guilty again), or to plow through serious hormonal warning signs (ask me how I know). Sure, there are survival-mode seasons, but we can’t live our lives in that state constantly! Our health will suffer.
I feel a lot less stressed when there is a healthy (even if it’s quick and easy) meal on the table, when I’m well hydrated, and when I’ve had enough hugs and cuddles (shout out to all the Physical Touch love language moms!). It’s one–or more–less stress(es) on your body in an already stressful season. You’ll feel a LOT better, I promise!
This is my current water bottle I use throughout the day. Since I’m an ice-freak, I love that it keeps the ice from melting, and that it comes with a bunch of different tops (I personally love the straw one).
Pray…A LOT
1 Thessalonians 5 tells us to “pray continually” or “pray without ceasing”. As someone who struggles with anger (that I didn’t even know I struggled with until I had kids), this is a huge one for me. When I feel that heat rising in my chest, a quick breath and prayer for calm makes such a big difference in how I RESPOND to things verses REACTING.
When I’m at my stress limit, any little thing can set me off. Like when I’m concentrating on fixing the printer so we can get all of our tax documents together, and Zeke keeps telling me, “Mommy, the blocks fall down”, over and over and over…and over and over again. Overstimulated me can be quick to react by snapping at him. Accompany this with Toby’s “I-want-to-be-held-NOW” cries, and it’s a recipe for Angry Mommy.
Breathe. Pray for peace. Pray for gentleness. Pray for perspective. The printer is not as important as my babies’ hearts.
Pray journaling has made a huge difference in my prayer life too! I love Green Room office products. They have beautiful products and BONUS! they are nontoxic!
Learn to Go Slow & Let Things Go
My house is not meant to be perfect. It’s meant to be lived in. It is not the lobby of a 5-star hotel. It’s a vivarium, a greenhouse, an incubator for growth and learning and life and connection. And those things are all MESSY. That doesn’t mean we aren’t good stewards of what we have. That doesn’t mean we shouldn’t make sure the toilets are clean, we have clean clothes to wear and clean dishes to eat off of. But as far as trying to keep our house immaculately clean…we’ll be disappointed every time.
I can’t make my home into an idol. I am the keeper of it, and I take that seriously…but sometimes that means letting it be messy. That means food on the floor from my BLW 10-month-old. That means a new tower of blocks on top of my computer from my over-imaginative 2-and-a-half-year-old. That means Hubby’s projects piled in corners…and yes, even my own projects piled in corners.
We have to be okay with messes. That doesn’t mean they’ll never be cleaned up, that doesn’t mean you can’t have peace and order in your house. But, especially in busy seasons, messes will happen because your house (praise the Lord!) is LIVED IN. And sometimes we need to let those messes go.
And maybe it’s time to let something else go. If you feel like you’re in a perpetual state of busyness and being constantly on the go, it might be worth a look at your calendar. What can you pass to someone else? What can you take off of your schedule to help with the stress?
I love the saying that “I can do anything, but I can’t do everything” (David Allen).
Final Word
Busy seasons are not easy, but that doesn’t mean they have to be miserable. While not an extensive list, I hope you find these tips helpful. This doesn’t mean I have it all together, or that I never fail. I still have moments that I need to ask forgiveness for, and I always will. God’s grace is bigger than my failures. In any season, but especially the busy ones, I want to be fully aware of my need for His grace. I want to be fully dependent on it. That’s what it really all boils down to. Stress and overwhelm, most of the time, stem from and unwillingness to rest and trust in Him–even if it’s subconsciously. Just remember, He’s got this, and He’s got YOU!
God bless you and yours,
Morgan
