I love my toddler. He can be sweet, funny, charming, endearing…and very mischievous. If you doubt that we were born with a sin-nature (Psalm 51:5, Jeremiah 17:9, Romans 5:12), just observe a toddler for an afternoon. They are very self-focused and self-centered (just like adults can be). That’s why God gave us these little souls to train up. We train them to love and follow God, first of all. Secondly, we train them to think of and serve others before themselves.
One way I do that with my toddler is to let him help with things around the house. I’ve found that most toddlers I’ve interacted with are very willing to help, even when we (sadly) think of it as an inconvenience. But when I put my schedule aside, I’ve found that life with my rambunctious toddler is drastically different. Here are some things I’ve noticed about letting my toddler help out:
Less Tantrums for Strong Wills
This is actually a tip I learned from another mom of a strong-willed toddler, and it was a game-changer. Maybe it’s because of the quality time spent together, maybe it’s because he feels big and trusted with simple tasks, maybe it gets some of his energy out…whatever the reason, tantrums dwindle when Zeke has a part in daily chores and tasks.
Sensory Play and Brain Exercises
When kiddos are this young, they learn everything through play…and even work is like play to them. My little guy will come up while I’m doing the dishes or vacuuming and ask: “Mommy, I help you?” That’s because it’s fun for him. Who would’ve thought a task that I merely tolerate, he sees as play? And what better time to teach him to take part in family tasks than NOW when he still thinks it’s fun?
Teaches them Good Stewardship
Like I mentioned above, it’s important to teach our kiddos how to be part of the community of family. That includes involvement in family chores. Part of their training consists of teaching them good stewardship. All that we have came from the Lord and ultimately belongs to Him. Our job is to take care of the things the Lord has trusted us with…and kiddos are part of that! Training them good stewardship is practicing good stewardship ourselves.
Builds Bonds and Creates Connections
I feel closer to my toddler on days I’m letting him help out. I don’t know how many times we’ve ended up in giggle fits while he’s helping me with things. And sure, there are some instances where he loses interest in what we’re doing and goes to build his blocks (he is a toddler after all). But we love spending time together working together. Every time he does something well, we get to bond over it. Every time I show him how to do something new, we bond over that too.
Allows Them to Take Pride
I mean this in a good way! Especially for little boys, I think this is really important. They need to be able to take pride in the work of their hands.
Not too long ago, I let Zeke help me make the mashed potatoes for dinner. When dinner was done, he got to tell his daddy that he helped make the mashed potatoes. The way his face lit up when we ate “his” mashed potatoes was PRICELESS. Letting our toddlers help, and allowing them to experience these little victories sets them up for success later on! It shows them how it feels to have a job well done, and actually can motivate them to want to help more and do a good job in the future.
Exploring New Talents and Skills
I’m amazed at the new skills Zeke constantly displays. It’s phenomenal how quickly kiddos learn and develop at this age! And how much exploration comes with that… It’s good for them to explore in a somewhat controlled environment.
For example, Zeke loves being in the kitchen. I can’t wait to see his cooking skills advance as he gets older, if his interest continues. But he can’t explore the kitchen by himself in the same way he can go play outside or dig in the dirt. He needs very close supervision in the kitchen, because certain things in there can do him harm until he knows how to use them properly.
Luckily, we keep all of these items out of his immediate reach. But left to himself, he’d likely find a way to get to them. If I’m not in there with him, he wouldn’t be able or allowed to explore this talent. He needs guidance. On the other hand, if I never let him help then we both miss out on opportunities to find new talents. And letting him help me in the kitchen is a good opportunity to show him the other important work that comes after the cooking: the cleanup.
Exercises Patience in Us
I’ll be honest…sometimes Zekey’s “help” is more counterproductive than helpful. And I believe that it IS OKAY to tell him to go play when he gets too underfoot. But it’s good for me to work with him through those times too.
One day, he was helping me make beans. We had just finished rinsing them and left them in the sink to drain. I turned back from drying my hands just in time to watch Zeke dump the entire colander of beans into the sink.
Looking back on it, I have to laugh. He didn’t understand that it was NOT helpful to dump out the beans. He thought he was doing me a favor. But in the moment, I had to force down my frustration. It was one of those moments I needed to really pray for the Holy Spirit’s help to be patient. So we picked up the beans and started over. Then I sent him to go play.
Would it be easier just to sit him in front of a book or new toy or a screen than to let him help me? A lot of the time, yes. There are some days that I just need to get dinner done quickly, or need to run the vacuum really quick, or fold and sort the laundry during nap time. However, his involvement in the workings of family life is a good thing. And it’s good for me to let him, because I truly believe God uses that to sanctify me.
Final Thoughts
Toddlers are little scientists. They’re always exploring and experimenting and creating…and yes, destroying too. But think about it! They learn SO MUCH just in the first 3-4 years of life. They learn how to sit up, walk, crawl, eat real food, form words, walk, form sentence structures. They learn about things like love and discipline. They learn how to poop in the toilet instead of their diapers. They learn about kindness and compassion. They learn that if you push a rubber ball off the table, it will bounce. But if you push a glass jar off the table, it will break. How remarkable!
Everything they see and hears goes into their little supercomputers. They will use all of that data to help form their view of the world they live in. It’s extraordinary really.
Letting them join us in daily tasks allows them to explore without so much of the destruction part. It helps us connect with our littles. After all, they don’t stay little forever. And there isn’t anything much sweeter than hearing that little voice behind me: “Mommy, I help you?”
God bless you and yours,
Morgan
